
Wow. Is it me or are we all getting just a bit angrier, just a bit more literally outraged, a little less tolerant? Or too tolerant? Or less tolerant at more tolerance or... well... there you are. It's that kind of time. Doesn't it make you want to scream?
In recent months there's been a ton of controversies in the press. Some relatively small scale stoies, some decidedly bigger, some totally manufactured, some more organic. But in a lot of cases it feels like rather than the issues being debated, discussed and any common ground even being attempted, it's more like a boxing ring or school playground where particpants call each other names and then return to the corners bloody and unbowed. It's not what you say, it's how loud you shout. It's telling people what to think rather than giving ALL the information with which to do so. No discussions... more pre-emptive strikes, snarks, indignancy and buzzwords designed not to engage but to carve a niche for those already convinced. We just seem to all be more... angry and more inclined to rage rather than engage.
For example.....
In the US the health bill has created the kind of fervour that defies logic. Wherever you are on the actual issue itself, it's almost impossible to have missed the fact that any dicussion comes down to some ridiculous accusations. If you're for the Health Bill, then be prepared to be a socialist, marxist, baby-killing nigger-loving progressive liberal who should move to Russia. If you think the Bill shouldn't have been passed you're an Ivy-League elitist, gun-hording, CEO, bank-bonus hogging TEA-partying redneck whoring yourself to the insurance companies. I'm sure there are plenty of people in the middle who think there are flaws and successes in the Bill, but they are all too often drowned out by the loud, more rabid voices. It has to be said, those voices have mainly been Republican... the likes of Rush (' I'm not being racist, but what race will the President be putting on his census?') Limbaugh, Glenn ('It's all the fault of the Progressives who are trying to DESTROY this country with their secret agenda!') Beck and Sarah ('Hopey-Changey') Palin. The Left isn't guiltless, but the average person is finding harder and harder to separate fact from sound-bytes that are repeated across the air-waves that want a controversy, not a compromise. To hell with rationality, let's strike fear into people!
The latest UK headlines today are screaming about Chris Grayling (Conservative MP) and the "disgraceful" opinions he has over another recent story. Background: A couple of weeks ago a gay couple arrived at a Brighton B&B and when the owner found they were homosexual she said that as a devout Christian she felt she couldn't let them stay in the same bed under her roof. The owner was immediately called a bigot and has been the subject of a hate-campaign. Now Grayling has said - in an audio tape secretly recorded by a Sunday paper without his knowledge - that he has some sympathies with the B&B owners as, while he has no problem with gay marriages etc, he does think a person has the right to decide what happens in their home without government interference.
Personally, I'm conflicted on this one. Certainly this story does demonstrate an anti-gay prejudice and clear homophobia. Denying someone a room simply because they were black would be astonishing in this day and age and I'd hoped that the subject of someone's sexuality behind a closed door would be just as non-issue. I feel sympathy for the two men who had done nothing wrong and had their holiday ruined by someone who, I feel, is probably rather selective about what they take away from the Bible. ( I love Christians but even with the 'devout' variety there does seem to a big pick-and-choose when it comes to its literal meaning, lessons and teachings when its in/convenient). I don't think they should have been turned away and if I was them I'd be rightly furious. THEN AGAIN, I also value highly the notion that goverment has NO place in the privacy of one's home and that should stay out of the kitchen, bedroom, hallway or closet when only consenting adults are involved. Like anyone I have the right to decide what I want under my own roof. I might criticise others extreme or stupid choices or lack of tolerance, but its their house and their rules.
The problem here is that the private home was ALSO a small place of business. I think when you open a business, you have to abide by the laws of the land - including those relating to discrimination. However, this incident does create an inherrent conflict and I think Chris Grayling, rather than being stunningly vilified, has simply put his finger on the nub of the problem. It's clear from his record and interviews that he has no 'anti gay' agenda and has been happy to vote for same-sex marriage etc, but sees this particular issue as a layered one given both the faith/rights angle. Instead, SKY and the likes are talking about the other parties howling for his resignation and about his innate bigotry. C'mon guys... he isn't a stupid BNP supporter out to cause trouble...he's a politician who - and this is a rarity - is stating this can't be reduced to a simple sound-byte or headline, so let's discuss that rather than merely lynch the messenger. Equally, the woman who runs the B&B isn't a rabid Klu Klux Klan or BNP member, she apparently she just felt the one-bed arrangement conflicted with her religious beliefs and felt she'd bea hypocrite to allow it under hr own roof. Debatable logic aside, to polarise it even more actually does more to help the bigots rather than the devout.
These are just two examples of where the media is alsmost dictating the rules of engagement rather than the argument. Both situations would benefit from people acknowleding the real conflicts involved even if they can't agree.
So, perhaps here's a rule of thumb: just for a second, however passionate you are about where you already stand and how confident you are in that... don't merely trash those who disagree with you. Disagree the position but don't disrespect the person. Convince, rather than annihilate. The world is not black and white. The truth about anything is never as brief as a sound-byte and there's no point of view that can't be strengthened by questioning it, accepting not everyone thinks the same and genuinely enagaging those who disagree.
And anyone who disagrees with that is an idiot.